I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My room smells like vodka and shame
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
