That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
