plz talk dirty to me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
