***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
