3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
