Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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