Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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