You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
