Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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