He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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