i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
