Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My penis needs a shock collar
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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