well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
