Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
