i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
