Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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