I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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