You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
