accomplished twins. life is a go
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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