I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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