Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
