He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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