his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
