don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
