Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
