He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
is it fun? or sober?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
