I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
