i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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