Porn is love you can see.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
