new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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