Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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