im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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