When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
