That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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