someone get that fucking seahorse.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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