**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Two words: nipple clamps
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