I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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