everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
