yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
