Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
