so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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