So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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