Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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