Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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