She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
