KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
