Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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