When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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