Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
