dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You don't make any sense
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