Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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