Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
