How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
